fuck your aforementioned shoe
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize