no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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