There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize