he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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