My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
