i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Fuck appropriateness.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
