You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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