FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
