just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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