Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
