Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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