Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
