Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
