I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
