I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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