So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
