If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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