i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
