Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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