i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
