He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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