also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the day after is always just damage control
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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