Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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