I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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