Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you didnt know i had herpes?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
