and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
