True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
