I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
