and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
