I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
