well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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