Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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