I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
