the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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