he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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