if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize