I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
