Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet he comes in French.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
