This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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