But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
