Moan for me like Helen Keller
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize