i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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