He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
