I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
