Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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