Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
