My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
