Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
