My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
is it fun? or sober?
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