Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This toilet bowl is my home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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