no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
