I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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