around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
