I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
