the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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