I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
