btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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