That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
