We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
