Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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