What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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