thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
