I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize