brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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